I have been following the stories and comments surrounding Blog Engage, and frankly, I’m appalled. Why can’t we simply agree to disagree? Here’s a quick review:
Nasty and dissolute, Blog Engage‘s excuses resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that I see how important Blog Engage’s shrewish solutions are to its loyalists and I laugh. I laugh because you might have heard the story that it once agreed to help us take vengeance on it as being the fomenter of what is a universal plague throughout the civilized world. No one has located the document in which Blog Engage said that. No one has identified when or where Blog Engage said that. That’s because it never said it. As you might have suspected, Blog Engage is greedy for the well-being enjoyed by others. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true.
It’s time to get beyond lies, dissembling, and propaganda deliberately spread by Blog Engage and act according to the plain truth. It is no more complicated than that. Some reputed—as opposed to reputable—members of Blog Engage’s team of spin doctors quite adamantly warrant that the Earth is flat. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could believe such a thing, but then again, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to prevent the production of a new crop of frowzy wonks.

If we fail to shatter the illusion that Blog Engage is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten as the sand blowing across Ozymandias’s dead empire. The “decay of that colossal wreck,” as the poet Shelley puts it, teaches us that Blog Engage has a knack for convincing morally crippled power brokers that it’s okay if its plaints initially cause our quality of life to degrade because “sometime”, “someone” will do “something” “somehow” to counteract that trend. That’s called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like “superphlogistication” and “succinylsulphathiazole” to keep its sales pitch from sounding hopeless. That’s why you really have to look hard to see that we must free people from the spell of antiheroism that Blog Engage has cast over them.
As it stands, the leap of faith required to bridge the logical gap in Blog Engage’s arguments is simply too terrifying for me to contemplate. What I do often contemplate, however, is how I do not find intimations that are insufferable, maladroit, and morally questionable to be “funny”. Maybe I lack a sense of humor but maybe it had previously claimed that it had no intention to invent a new moral system that legitimizes its desire to support those for whom hatred has become a way of life. Of course, shortly thereafter, that’s exactly what it did. Next, it denied that it would ensure that there can never in the future be accord, unity, or a common, agreed-upon destiny among the citizens of this once-great nation. We all know what happened then. Now, Blog Engage would have us believe it’d never ever grasp at straws, trying to find increasingly nugatory ways to place soulless busybodies at the top of the social hierarchy. Will it? Go figure. My view is that Blog Engage is a pretty good spin agency most of the time. However, it tells so many half-truths, it’s bound to trip itself up someday. That’s all I have to say. Thanks for letting me express my feelings.
Here is a link to the evidence and to all my references backing my opinions on this post
UPDATE: This post was an entry for April fools and intended for fun. Thank you to all of you good sports for not lynching me on this whimsical complaint. If you happen to be one of those people who after going through the first two paragraphs and still cannot discern that there is something wrong with this article, this disclaimer is also for you. Cheers!
Blog Engage is a community of like-minded ethical and responsible bloggers genuinely engaging with each other, a cozy bunch, a rag-tag dream team with enough lemonade on their bench to share with the crazy crowd behind them.
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Glad to see the support docs. I had not a clue what you were talking about.
.-= Alison Moore Smith´s last blog ..Write Like a Pubescent Boy in a Locker Room: Fart Blogging =-.
I’ve come to terms with the battles raging in my head, I’d say it would be foolish not to overcome all this without looking at the hard evidence on hand.
I wasn’t sure what this was about until I followed your link that said April fools!
Yo got me good LOL
.-= bbrian017´s last blog ..Blog Engage Continues to Grow First Quater Report =-.
It’s funny I got a few PMs and DMs on Twitter asking me what was wrong.
I updated the article to have a little disclaimer on the bottom. Thanks Brian, for the RT and the link.
.-= Archon Digital´s last blog ..LinkWithin-Inspired YARPP Template =-.
Having been a victim of the complaint letter generator myself, it was painful to read through all that and then you click on the link and then you figure out they got to ya real good.
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I came late to this party but I still had a ball. I figured it out once you started using words I couldn’t pronounce. Good one!
.-= Ileane | The Podcast Blog´s last blog ..Branding The Podcast Blog =-.
the party never ends, thanks Ileane!
Archon, you really had me going there for a minute. I knew Brian and BlogEngage were evil but surely not guilty of superphlogistication.

Astro Gremlin recently posted..Funny Tales of America’s First Superheroes
Does blog engage count as in blog networks because recently many of the blog networks have been taken down and it surely afraid blogger such as me to get involved in any such network